Thursday, May 19, 2011

"Eng 100 creative writing",

To live for today, or to prepare for tomorrow.

I often find myself at a crossroads. In my younger teenage years it was all about living in the moment. Living like there’s no tomorrow, because tomorrow isn’t promised. “Go big or go home”. Living with these ideas engraved in my mind really did play a part in decision-making growing up. Because we cannot go back in time, there really is no point answering yes when being questioned; “If you could take back any action would you?” Silently to yourself you may own up to the time you did fuck up. But all you really can do is learn and move on, trying not to recreate a similar mistake.

But what if it’s not that you didn’t necessarily mess up, or have done an action you regretted, rather its what you didn’t do at the time where it was best to have been done.

That you didn’t prepare yourself for this outcome, or for see that this would be your future, and you end up unsatisfied where you are because of that action, or lack there of.

It’s because of this I started having goals.

I really didn’t think I would still be in the same square I started in. I really thought I had the potential to be some place greater. “Everything happens for a reason”. And this being because I haven’t made the action that would eventually have lead to the outcome of my desired reaction. Today I look towards tomorrow, thinking if I had a conversation with the person I want to become, what knowledge would I give myself to make my next move one that would lead me to that more successful place. I can’t always figure out what my next move should be but I try to ask for advice from people I admire along the way in my own personal growth.

As I get older, well I realize I am getting older. You cannot live in the bliss of ignorance and just live in the current moment of (in my life) foolishness.

Yes, don’t miss the opportunity of the beauty of now and how it will shape what becomes of you tomorrow. And don’t always just looking at it in the sense of what will I get out of this moment in the greater good either.

That could seem condescending to what I’ve been saying “to prepare, but at the same time don’t over analyze”. Because living in the moment is really a beautiful thing.

A person has to be able to find the balance of the mind set in now and tomorrow, I believe, to have success in making decisions.

In this writing I have been talking about choices generally, my choices and my thoughts on the matter. And to some it could just seem over analytical. But that’s just how I am. It could be about me trying to live this one shot at life correctly, but maybe even missing the point of it. In this modern day it is not just enough as “to live is to be alive” but society had brought me to this idea about success being so hard to achieve. But when you do reach this personal success when you look back on the journey there, not only the prize, your work was worth it—during the entire process itself.

My main prize I ever really wanted other than being an artist is to be happy. To live in a loving community with people with similar interests, live comfortably, and with enough wealth to get by.

My parents started getting hard on me about making sure I would be able to have a stable career to be able to live independently. Before I can even imagine moving out I believe a person needs to have a strong mindset of what goal and direction they want to move towards. I’m finding that it does get stressful planning out your life, so I’m choosing to attend college to help me sort out my skills, and make me a brighter person.

As hard as I try to predict, I don’t know where I am going to be tomorrow, or even later today.

Inhale. Exhale. To end my rant, I realize this world is an astonishing place, and I really hope I make the best out of this life that I am given; and don’t just settle for less because it was “the most convenient thing to do at the time”. We all deserve to achieve our goals and earn that success.

And because of all of this I believe I will achieve this moment of where I am happy.

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